Tuesday, April 13, 2010

Are they your true friends?


http://www.mb.com.ph/articles/236017/miguel-sarne-youngest-dj-rise

I was listening to the Magic 89.9 last Sunday morning as I thoroughly enjoy Miguel as a DJ plus he plays cute music (I'm a child at heart, so sue me :p). For a kid, he's very articulate and his playful banter on the radio is very natural. He's surely got a big future ahead of him. He's even much better than some of the other student jocks (college level) that I've heard in other stations. I've been hearing him since the days that Mo would have him as a guest DJ every Thursday in his morning show, Good Times with Mo. It was really amazing how he could hold his own with "veteran" disc jockeys like Mo and Mojo. I've been his fan since then so I was really happy to hear that he had his own radio show at just 14 years old! Geez! What was I doing when I was 14 years old?!

Anyway, I was listening to Miguel's show and one of his listeners (an 11 year old kid) called and asked for his advice with a particular dilemma. She asked Miguel whether her friends were true friends. She says is always there for them when they need her but when it's her turn to ask for help, they're nowhere in sight. My first gut instinct would be to "No! They're not real friends." Friends should be there for you through thick and thin. You should be there for each other. Friendship is not a one-way street. If your relationship with a friend is... well.. then you're not really friends.

Miguel advises her to talk to her friends. Clear the air and tell them how she feels. He says that perhaps if she talks to them and calls them out on it that maybe they'd start shaping up. And then he asks a follow-up question: "Do they bring you with them when they go out?" She answers, "No." To this Miguel replies that it seems clear that they're using her. This people might not be the friends that she thought they were. Despite this though, Miguel still continues to say that she should still talk to them (which I think was very mature of him). Mo Twister (who could learn a thing or two from Miguel in this aspect) would have just ended the conversation at "They're just using you. Find new friends (period)." I may agree with Mo but sometimes his people skills lack finesse. I don't know if this is just for ratings if he's just naturally like that.

Going back to the topic, so what do you guys think? I bring this up because I was just listening to Jack Canfield's audio book, The Success Principles and he tells us to choose our friends carefully. There is a lot of wisdom involved when our parents tell us to not hang with "those" kids. They know that the people who surround us, especially when we're young, tend to mold our thoughts, habits and opinions. Even as adults, it all the more important to steer clear of negative personalities and most especially of people he calls "dream stealers." These are people who won't support you when you strive for better things or a better life. Worse they'll shoot your dreams down and talk you into staying right where you are... with them.

Jack continues by telling us about the time he was still a teacher. He quickly stopped hanging out a teacher's lounge which he dubbed the "Ain't it awful?" Club where everyone was constantly complaining and negative. He even goes as far as saying that it's better to be alone than to surround yourself with people like that. He advises anyone in this position (people who are surrounded by negative people) to drop those people and find people who will support you in going for your goals and achieving your dreams. Jack Canfield, at the school, later on found a group of teachers who hang around in the library and eat at two tables in the lunch room. They're a group of positive teachers who constantly think of ways to innovate their teaching methods. It was through the support of this group that Jack even became a Teacher of the Year through his application of some methods he picked up from them and some seminars he attended.

Jack recommends that you surround yourself with like minded people or people who you can emulate... people who will support you and from whom you can learn things from. If you hang out with people who do not have the same drive as you then you will eventually lose that drive as well.

Just think about it. Think about every person around you. Jack recommends making a list of the people you spend the most time with. List them down and write a check or an 'x' beside their names - check if they're positive and supportive and 'x' if they're crabs who only want to pull you down back to their level. Spend more time with the check people and drop the 'x's until such time that you believe you are already emotionally stable, strong and mature enough to not let yourself be swayed or influenced by negative folk.

Surround yourself with good friends and prepare for greatness.

-- designstudentny
For more interesting thoughts and articles (and more about Jack Canfield's book) go to http://www.onthewaytonewyork.blogspot.com

Related articles:

  1. Take 100% Responsibility for your life
  2. Replace your limiting beliefs - release the hand brake to your success.
  3. You are who Your Friends are
  4. Attract more of What You Want in Life
  5. Are You Destroying Yourself With Your Own Words

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